Wednesday 4 June 2008

Lights Out

Pardon the delay on the blog--on the night I spoke about Herschel, Uranus and Mary Shelley's vision of Horror at the Astrological Lodge of London, our electricity went off. Even more freaky, the photos of me on the night show mysterious orbs of light. I was joking that I had channeled Mary Shelley. . .maybe I really did!

Freaky. . .

As we're talking about Uranus, here's my super-Uranus joke, with Jupiter conjunct Uranus, perhaps with a Mars transit. . .

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex."Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.

The Martian responds, "Pretty much the way you do."

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.

"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?”

"Well," she replies, "it's just not long enough to reach me!",

"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

"Well," she says, "that's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow.”

"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.

As they walk along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any good?”

"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”

"It was horrible," he replies, "all I got was a headache...she kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."

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